Sunday, July 19, 2009

Angels, Gardens and Butterflies

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Wow its been a while since I have posted, even with all this rain I still have not had much time to be on the computer. I think I made up for it when I was pregnant in the winter. Not that summer has arrived yet here in Heber but the rain does cease enough each day for me to venture to my gardens. I did square foot gardening this year and I sure am proud of my 3 little gardens, they do get plenty of water yet, the sunshine has been not so helpful lately. I also designated a small area in my yard as Avery's Garden. I planted lots of flowers that many of you have given to me, some bleeding heart, gerber daisies (my favorite), really a lot but they are not blooming as quickly as I would like, I was never blessed with an abundance of patience, and therefore I have yet to take a picture of it...but I thought who cares, I can take a pre summer and post summer pic. I wanted to order butterflies and ladybug off the internet but since its been raining so much, I decided I better wait a bit so they won't go seeking a better home.
Well in the meantime they have been coming to me everywhere I go. I see a Monarch Butterfly everyday almost and it doesn't matter where I am, California, baseball game, cemetery, friends house....butterflies come to me to say or should I say Avery comes to say hi all the time. My boys love it sometimes they just yell out, HI Avery! I hope its her way of telling us she is still so present. Lately I have been soooooooooooooooooooooooo longing for her to be around. I now understand when other moms says its like a roller coaster sometimes it just hits you and you never saw it coming. Well that is where I am now, much more emotional than I usually am and I am just trying to get through it with every emotion I receive.
I received a beautiful poem on Mother's Day, that I want to share, I don't have any idea who gave it to me but it is so lovely, I am sure you will agree. As I read through it again, of course I am full of tears, so be prepared.
Among those who could design the brightest and most beautiful flowers, of the students first to answer all the questions in school, Avery Ann was known as the most gifted. If Father wanted to find her, however, he always looked for the child who needed help the most that day. There, he was sure to find Avery helping with a homework assignment or telling stories about their Eldest Brother’s life of love. Today Father found her in art class, helping a little boy turn his paint smeared canvas into a masterpiece.

“Avery,” Father said, “It’s almost time.”

Avery handed the paintbrush back to the boy and followed Father out into the garden. “I’m ready,” she said.

“There’s something you need to know, “Father said, sitting on a stone bench beneath a willow tree. “You have done well here, so well that all you need for exaltation is to gain a body. Your spirit is so sweet and pure that your heart would hurt to see some of the things that happen on earth. So your mission to earth, my dear, will not be a long one.”

Avery knelt on the grass near Father and put her head on her chin. “My mother and father have waited for me so long. They will be so sad. Can’t you make there be a different way?” Father rested his hand on her head. “A long time ago, when your Elder Brother knelt in the Gethsemane, he asked a similar question. I didn’t like seeing him suffer, and I don’t like seeing your family sad either, but there are some things you will not understand for a while. What you must understand though, is that your Elder Brother and I love all of you.” Avery looked up at Father and nodded. “I know. And I know you will be there to help us.”

On another day, Father stood in the garden waiting. Avery ran into his arms and he held her as she told about her mission. “I’m so glad I got to see my mom and dad. My mom is so beautiful and good and my dad is so strong and kind. Do you think they know how much I love them?” Father looked into Avery’s eyes. “Very soon, my dear one, you will have the chance to tell them every day. In the millennium, when the earth is more like this world, they will have their opportunity to raise you. Until then, though, I want you to help me leave them love notes. Will you help me remind them of your love and of mine?

Avery’s smile was brighter than the flowers around her. “I like that idea. Where can we leave the notes?”

“They will be hidden everywhere~in the comfort of the scriptures, in the prayers of those that love them, in the peace of the temple. And when they are ready, your mom and dad will comfort others. Each smile they receive will be you smiling back at them. “Father swept his hand to the flowers in the garden around them. “And the flowers that bloom there will be the flowers you design here, each one a gift of love from us.”

Avery ran for the art room, pulled out a canvas and some paints, then started painting flowers. “These are for you Mom,” she whispered. I will see you soon!”
Soon is sometimes just not soon enough, I miss my sweet baby girl!