Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sad ending to a long day...

At last update, I (Steve) said and thought Avery was stable and doing okay. I came down to check on Leah and spend some time with her. I was with her for about an hour when my Dad called me approx 9 pm and he said the Doctors said that me AND Leah both should come up asap, as we did. The head Dr there informed us Avery had been having additional complications. He informed us that the outlook was not good and that there were two veins that they couldn't see, OR that they were not connected properly. Long story short is that, over much tears, grief and stress, at about 11 pm, we had to say goodbye to our little Angel, Avery Ann. She was so beautiful and looked so perfect. But her little heart was broken too severely, as is ours. We could have kept her on life support and drugs, for who knows how long, but the head Doctor there, said the outcome would still be the same, regardless of how long we used machines and medicines to try to keep her alive. We thank you for all your prayers and continue to ask for them for our strength and our boys will need it, as will we, Steve & Leah Hallows.

77 comments:

  1. I am so sad this day did not end as we had all hoped and prayed. My prayers are with you and your boys for strength and comfort. Leah, you have been such an inspiration to me with your positive attitude. Perhaps, someday, we will understand why Avery's mission here was so short.

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  2. Oh no. I am so sorry, and sad, and stunned. I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your sorrow. I'm just so sorry.

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  3. Steve and Leah,
    I am so truly sorry, I wish there was something I could say to make the hurt go away. You guys are great parents and prepared so much for sweet Avery. In every way, you are very strong people, I am sorry you had to say "Goodbye" to her, but now she has her whole heart and won't be sick. She will not have to endure all of the pain. I am so sorry, I have and will keep your sweet family in our prayers.
    Lots of Love,
    Chrissie

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  4. I have no words that can take away the pain for all of us, but to say I am so very sorry. You and your family have done so much to prepare for Avery and what was to come. Grandma and Grandpa will take good care of her and we will all have our special Avery angel to pray for us. You have been so strong, I love you with all my heart and soul.

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  5. We are so sorry for what you and your family is going through. I can not even imagine. Leah, your strength and positive attitude is amazing and inspiring and it will continue to help your whole family through this ordeal. Although this is a very sad time, it helps to remember that little Avery's heart is definitely whole now and she is in no pain and she is in a wonderful place. We love you and are sending you hugs.
    Love, Julie, Kirk, Miles, and Landon

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  6. We are so sad that the outcome is not what we had all hoped. We are thinking of you and your family at this hard time. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. I hope you can find a little comfort in the fact that now little Avery is not suffering, and she is in the greatest hands watching over you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. You have both been such a great inspiration to us all. We love you and will be praying for your sweet family.
    Love,
    Mike,Suzy,Keegan & Aubynn

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  7. Oh Leah and Steve, I am heart broken for you. I truly am. I am so very sorry. I wish I could do anything I could to take away your pain. I have felt a special bond with you over just the past few days. You are amazing people, even though I don't know you. I love you guys. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help, although I know those are probably just words to you right now.

    Much Love,
    Shannan Hoffman

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  8. STEVE & LEAH,
    I AM SO SORRY TO WAKE UP THIS MORNING AND FIND OUT YOU HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR SWEET ANGEL AVERY. THERE ARE NO WORDS THAT WILL EASE YOUR SORROW AND PAIN, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE IN OUR EVERY THOUGHT AND PRAY. I WILL PRAY THAT YOU FEEL OUR SAVIORS LOVE FOR AND YOUR SWEET FAMILY. AGAIN THANKS FOR YOUR EXAMPLE OF FAITH AND STRENGTH.
    LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS,
    THE BIGELOW FAMILY

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  9. Wes and Maree SeiterMarch 11, 2009 at 6:08 AM

    I am so sorry Leah and Steve. Waking up to find this news is truley heartbreaking. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now, but I pray that Heavenly Father will give you and your family comfort and peace through this saddening time. We love you guys and know you will somehow find strength through this all.
    Much Love-
    Wes and Maree

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  10. I have no words right now, except I am so sorry. I prayer for you and your boys that Heavenly Father will bless you with his peace. You are such an amazing family and we love you.
    Jenn and Symen

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  11. I am so, so sorry. My heart is broken for you. You two have been an inspirational example of loving faith and courage in the face of adversity. Avery was so blessed to be brought to earth by such an amazing woman who did everything possible to bring her here safely. Her little life has impacted so many.

    You will see your little girl again, and she will be perfect and whole. I am praying for our Savior's unending peace to be in your hearts. Love to Leah, her boys and their angel Avery.

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  12. My sweet Leah and Steve,

    I am so sorry that you have had to endure this trial, but our knowledge of His plan hopefully has brought you some peace. I have felt His undying love for you and your family as well as for me these last few days. Obviously Avery was so special to Him that He could not bear her to be away from Him any longer. I have felt that. I love you so much. Please know that I am always here for you. You have inspired so many, especially me.

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  13. Leah and Steve,
    I'm not sure what to say except that my heart feels so heavy for you. Little Avery was very blessed to come to a family who loves her so deeply. I know God loves you all and will help you and the boys cope with the pain of separation. I pray that the peace of the gospel will comfort your hearts.
    Lezli

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  14. Leah,
    My heart is broken. I hope you can find some sort of clarity in the events of yesterday. I love you. God loves you. You brought a perfect angel to earth and she is so grateful to you for that.

    Much love,
    Mindi

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  15. Leah and Steve,

    I am so very sorry that your precious Avery did not get to stay here with you. I know all too well the heartache you are experiencing and the long journey of grief you are walking. My baby girl Melissa died only 8 1/2 hours after her birth due to an infection and heart problems. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

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  16. Our prayers are with you as is our heartfelt sympathy. As much as Avery's loss is so hard, we pray the Lord will bless you with special comfort and hope; that the loving arms of the Savior will tend to your aching souls. You did everything you possibly could. You gave her little body every chance to succeed. And there's no question how deeply Avery IS loved. I know you will miss her. Imagine how joyous the reunion will be when you get to see her and know her once again. What a happy day that will be.

    May the Lord comfort you now. Please let us know if we can help with the boys or getting Leah back on her feet in any way.

    All of our love.
    Damon

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  17. Barb called me at 7:00 this morning, and needless to say, I'm numb and in shock. My heart is broken right along with yours. I am SO sorry. She was a very lucky girl who was loved by so many already. My love goes out to all of you and PLEASE let me know if there's ANYTHING I can do. I am completely available. I love you all so much and am so grateful for the love and support you have and will continue to receive, I'm sure. xox

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  18. The Harrington FamilyMarch 11, 2009 at 7:20 AM

    Our love and greatest sympathy. Our prayers will continue in your behalf.

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  19. Steve, Leah and Boys -
    We love you and want you to know that you are in our prayers! I pray that you may feel the love of our Savior and that you may also feel Avery's love for you and graditude for the body that you gave her to come to earth. She is one special angel.

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  20. Steve and Leah,
    We are so sad for your family. Our prayers are with you that you will be comforted at this time. If there is anything we can do for you let us know.

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  21. I am so sorry. Oh how I wish you would have had much more time with her.

    Hugs & Prayers,
    Christina from IHH

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  22. There are not words enough to express my deep sorrow for what you are having to now deal with. Please know my thougths and prayers are with you. I am so sorry.
    Carolyn Quigley, IHH
    Mom to Angel Hope

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  23. Leah, Steve, and Boys,
    My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you as I go through this day with a heavy heart for all of you. You are such an amazing family and I'm sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. God bless!
    Terra

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  24. We are so heartbroken at your loss. Avery is a beautiful girl. Please let us know what the memorial/funeral arrangements will be, once you have had a chance to figure that out.
    praying you didn't have to endure this,
    Melissa Andrew - IHH Angel Chair
    www.elaineandrew.com

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  25. I too am so sorry for your loss your story tho hard now has and does bring hope to many going thru similar things. The pain may not go away but know that our Heavenly Father loves you and he knows the big picture Avery is a very special child of god and she had a important mission here on earth and she fullfilled it. I pray for our hevenly fathers arms to be around you at this difficult time. Thank you for sharing Avery with all of us.

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  26. Words cannot express our grief for your family right now. We are so sorry for your loss. Avery Ann was so blessed to spend 9 months inside of you and to come to such a loving family. What a valiant and perfect spirit she must be. Our prayers and thoughts are with your family - may you be lifted and strengthened through this time. Love, Lisa and Brooks Harbertson

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  27. I am so sorry! I don't know what to say. I could say that she fulfilled her mission on earth and received a body and that only the most SPECIAL ones are that lucky. It doesn't make your pain go away. It's not fair.

    I'm praying for your family!!

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  28. I am so sorry. But I'm glad that you got a chance to meet your perfect and beautiful baby girl and that she got to meet you and feel the strong love you have for her. You now have the perfect guardian angel for your family. I wish I could hug you and take away the pain. Words are not enough.

    Jenny McKeague

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  29. Dear Hallows Family,

    Our hearts are so saddened. Please know that we are praying for your strength at this difficult time.

    Pulver family

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  30. Oh Steve and Leah,

    My heart is broken. Kyle and I laid in bed and cried for you all morning. This is unexpected and just so hard. We love you and want you to know that our prayers are with you and your boys as well as the extended family and friends who like us have grown to love Avery already. I don't know whether you want alone time to process this, but please feel free to call me if you want to cry with someone. We love you.

    Alli and Kyle Hicken

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  31. Our hearts break too. Thank you for making that kind of a sacrifice for an obviously very special spirit. Our prayers are with you and your family at this time.
    James, Summer, Abby (HLHS), and Tessa

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  32. Oh Leah,
    I am so sorry to hear about your sweet baby girl! I have such sympathy for you and your family and what you are going through right now! I know when people say they are sorry, you don't want to hear it, at least not right now!... you just happened to be one of the lucky ones in this world that got to carry are celestial child! What a great compliment from gos giving you such a perfect spirit.. you must have done something pretty amazing in heaven to have heaven;y father choose you for this trial you now face! You will get through this... it will take some time and you will always long for her until the day you meet again, isn't it such a relief to know that we can be with our babies again and raise them in a perfect world! She is watching you always and continues to be by your side. you guys will forever be in my prayers! if you ever need anything.. ever... please let me know!

    Shanna LeRoy (Brenna LaPray's sister)

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  33. My heart is aching for all of you. I will continue to pray for your family.
    Geeg

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  34. I can't stop crying and thinking about you. My heart is breaking. I can't imagine how it must be. I hope you know you are all loved. Our prayers are all with you and your family. I am so grateful that you have the knowledge of the gospel. If would be terrible to feel you would never see her again. You will see her again and it will be an awesome reunion. Leah, you are still glowing with that light. Use it to help you through. Love you!!! Jenny Cook

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  35. I am so sorry about your little Avery. I know the strength you had throughout your pregnancy will benifit you at this difficult time. What a blessing it is to be a mother of a choice spirit like Avery. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing Avery's story with so many. much love, Brenna

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  36. I am so sorry to hear about sweet baby Avery. Your family will continue to be in our every prayer. Thank you for being so open in sharing your journey. I appreciate your strength and courage. We love you! Warmest Love, Mylissa and Wayne

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  37. I am so sorry. I can't imagine the heartache and sorrow you must be experiencing. I'm so sorry things went this way. I'm so grateful you were able to meet her, if only for a day.

    Our prayers truly are with you. I don't dare to even TRY to imagine what the coming days will be like for you and your sweet family. Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Sincerely,
    Nic & Ashley Haws - IHH
    D&C 101:29-31, 36-37. I hope this brings you some of the great peace I have felt and needed. I hope this helps comfort your souls.

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  38. Steve & Leah,
    My heart aches for you and your family. I am praying for you all.
    May God Bless you and keep you in this most difficult of times.
    Samantha Hughes

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  39. Steve and Leah,
    My heart aches for you. It's hard to find appropriate words at such a difficult time. Our Prayers are with you and your family. Your family has been such a strength to so many people. The gospel is true!! You will see your sweet little Avery again. She will be your family's personal little angel, guarding and protecting you in this life until you are reunited. She will be close. We love you, and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Lynette Smedley

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  40. Leah and Steve,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the feeling of peace you had during your pregnancy finds you again and helps you during this trying time. My thoughts and prayer are with your family. Jen Gabrielson

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  41. Steve and Leah,
    We are so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. May our Heavenly Father bless you with peace and comfort. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and your family.
    Love,
    The Atwoods

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  42. Dear Leah and Steve, We don't know what to say. We are so sorry. Thankyou so much for sharing your sweet story with us. You brought our ward and families closer together in faith and love. I don't think any of us will ever forget sweet Avery. Your incredible courage and positive spirits have been admirable to everyone and made us all want to be better people. Our love and prayers are with you, Will and NiCole Parke

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  43. I just want you to know that I have been thinking about you all morning! My heart aches for you all! I started crying when I read Steve's post and haven't stopped! I pray that you will feel peace at this difficult time! It is comforting to know that you WILL see your sweet little Avery again! You are in our prayers!

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  44. It's practically unfathomable that something like this should happen to so beautiful a baby or so wonderful a family. I'm glad that you have each other for support.

    Please let us know if there is something we can add.

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  45. Leah and Steve,
    I have been on and off your blog all day. I am still at a loss for words as I am sure you are too. Your story is one of great courage. I don't think you will ever know how many peoples lives you and little Avery's have touched. This song has brought me comfort many a time. I hope it may bring you some too....

    "In This Very Room"
    Love, Donielle,Jared and boys

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  46. I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers, HLHS is a terrible syndrome families should not have to deal with it, I ache for your family, it just isn't fair.
    HEART HUGS,
    Brytten (mom to Teagan HLHS, post Glenn)

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  47. Leah and Steve your daughter is beautiful. She truly is an angel.

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  48. We are so sorry for your loss, its extremely difficult to hear such sad news, words can't express the sadness and grief that we feel. Thanks for sharing Avery's amazing journey with us through your blog. You are in our thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time.

    Many Prayers,
    Mike & Family
    IHH-VP

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  49. She is so BEAUTIFUL!!! She looks just like you guys:) Thank you for posting a picture! What an angel:)

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  50. Steve and Leah,

    There are no words to tell you how sorry we are. We love you guys very much and pray for your healing and the comfort that only God can bring. Avery's little life no matter how short it was...has touched so many. She is beautiful. My heart aches for all of you,know that our prays are with you.
    Love, Suzie, Mike, Nathan and Lexie

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  51. Thank you so much for sharing this picture with us. What a sweet spirit she must be! And so fortunate to be part of your forever family. I am sure that they are rejoicing in Heaven at her return!

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  52. Dear Steve and Leah,
    we were so sorry to hear about sweet little Avery. We pray that you will be comforted during this time. Avery is a beautiful baby and we know you will see her again. You are amazing.
    all our love and hugs,
    Blaine and Jami Edman

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  53. Dear Leah and Steve,
    Our heart goes out to you. Your family is in our prayers. Your little angel is with our lord who will watch over her until you meet her again.
    Love Aunt Deb and Family.

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  54. Dear Steve and Leah,
    Like so many others, we don't have the words to express our sorrow for the loss of your beautiful daughter. We feel for your boys, knowing how much they were looking forward to a baby sister. May you find comfort in your faith, knowing God's plan is perfect, as is His ability to give comfort.

    We value your friendship so much and wish we could do something to ease your burden.

    Love,

    Bill & Carolan Romey

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  55. Wow I can't believe all the support you have! What an amazing group of people to help you through this. We were at the U today and i debated finding you but decided against it. I hope you know we are thinking of you and your family. It is hard to see this happen when I am due in 2 weeks but at the same time it brings me peace. I still hope to meet one day, you have touched our lives. Please keep in touch.

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  56. Avery is a beautiful, sweet baby. We are so sad to hear about your loss. Your family will be in our prayers. Love and condolences, The Weekes family

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  57. What a beautiful angel! We are so sorry for your loss. All of you are in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know...

    Much love, Danny, Toni, Brandon, Heather, and Jake.

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  58. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful angel. You are so lucky to have the faith you have. Thank you for sharing.

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  59. Thank you for letting me play a small part in your journey. Love to you and your family. My thoughts are with you.
    Your doula,
    Brandy

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  60. I'm at a loss for words to comfort you! My daughter Melanie was diagnosed with ALCAPA feb 10th and had surgery Feb 11th she was 51/2 mos when we found out and I have no idea what it must be like for you and even though my mind wondered there while we were in the PICU I feel truely blessed to not have gone through it and I wish I could have known you were in the hospital to have given you a hug I'm REALLY sorry But I truely believe everything happens for a reason. When you find the time theres a song by MercyMe thats called Keep Singing I hope it might comfort you as it does me. -Amber

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  61. I am so sorry for your loss! You are in our prayers. What a beautiful angel!

    Michele - IHH
    mom to Taryn)

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  62. Hallows Family

    I am sorry to hear about sweet Avery. She must be a very special Spirit to be called home so soon. My thoughts & prayers are with you to give you the strength to get through this trial.

    Thank you for sharing Avery's journey and photo with us. She is a beautiful baby!

    Love you,
    Alisa Ellis

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  63. Our prayers are with you and your family.
    Much love, Hilary Cook-mom to Daxton-heart transplant

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  64. Dear Steve and Leah,
    I was reading your blog all day yesterday and the out pouring of love is very healing to me and I hope to both of you. You are so loved and so is Avery. When I opened the blog this morning and saw her picture I just kept staring at it she is so beautiful, thank you for sharing it for everyone. I hope each day will bring you the strength and love you so deserve. Love to all, Aunt Sandy

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  65. Dear Steve, Leah, and Boys,
    my heart goes out to your family at this time, Leah reading your words abour this whole experence of bring a life into this world are truly beautiful, you have such a strong spirit, and Steve your heart breaking words of Avery's passing, thank you for sharing your greif with all of us. our family's love and prayers are with you.
    Gary & Carol Coleman and family

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  66. We are so sorry to hear about beautiful, sweet Avery's passing. We are members of Intermountain Healing Hearts and have followed your journey in preparing for her coming. We are deeply saddened by your loss. Words cannot provide the comfort that you need right now. Our Savior's love is and will continue to surround you and your family. Please know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many... including us. May God bless each of you!
    Gary, Camille, Sam and Alex (DILV, LTGA, post Glenn 11/08) Hood

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  67. Thank you for posting this beautiful photo of sweet Avery! I was thinking about you so much last night! I got on Gracie's blog and listened to the music from Paul Cardall! I thought it might bring you comfort at this time! You are in my prayers!!!
    Love, EJ, Rosie and Family

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  68. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Your precious baby girl is just beautiful. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

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  69. I could not stop thinking of you and your sweet baby so I stoped back by today and I have to say Oh my what a beautiful sweet angel you have!! thanks for sharing the picture with us.

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  70. I wanted to check on you again today. It took my breath away when I saw the picture of precious Avery. She was so beautiful. I know your hearts are so full of pain right now. Just know there are people who care and are praying you through this.

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  71. Oh my goodness...I have been thinking about you a lot wondering if you had had her yet...I happened to finally be checking blogs today and saw that you had, then my heart broke...my dear Leah...I am sooooo incredibly sorry it was such a short stay for sweet Avery. I can't contain my emotion right now as I am so shocked, upset, and sad for you all. OUr prayers are with your family...we are close by, so PLEASE let us know if you need anything...meals, help with kids...anything...my love goes out to both of you!

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  72. Brenna just shared your blog with me and once again my heart is aching and my eyes are wet. She is seriously so beautiful and perfect. I can only imagine how sweet the reunion will be with her and your boys. We love you guys and our prayers are for YOU!
    The Braddy's

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  73. Thank you for sharing your journey with everyone. Avery looks just precious with her little blond hair. You've done a wonderful job! You're in our prayers and thoughts. You both are very good parents and great examples to others. These are the times we might only see one set of foot prints in the sand, and he will guide you through. All our love and prayers...Julie and Mike Knaphus

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  74. Steve, Leah & boys,
    Just wanted to let you know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers everyday!! Leah I love you!! You are such a strong woman and such and inspiration!! Give your boys a GREAT BIG HUG from me!

    Shelly Eldredge

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  75. I am so sorry for your loss...she is so gorgeous...just imagine she is the most pure and lovely person you will meet on this earth.
    Avery was so special all she needed was a body.
    I know she waits for you and you will be together again..I am sending you all my love and prayers for your family to remember her always with pure love and joy, and a healing to be prepared to meet with her again. This little Daughter of God has profoundly left her mark with all of us. Love, Owen's Gamma

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  76. Leah & Steve,
    Our hearts break with you :(
    What a darling baby with a darling name.
    We love you and are thinking about you,
    Durk and Jane Johnson

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